, February 2003

Over the last couple of months in this space we have been exploring attitudes and actions necessary for developing a discerning life. Interior freedom in relationship to the options available to us in our lives and a regular practice of prayer and attention to God are both fundamental aspects of the Christian life and necessary to live life discerningly.

When faced with significant decisions, the process of discernment provides us with a framework and a method in order to come to a resolution or a course of action. Having prayed for interior freedom and being reasonably assured that we are open to the possibility of the call of God being found in all the options available to us, we can then set about some practical considerations.

Gathering information is one of the first practical considerations that discernment calls us to. Recall that discernment involves choosing among goods. Because of that gathering and sifting through information regarding the various options at hand is an important part of making a good discernment. In addition, it's also imperative that we gather information and learn about ourselves as well.

If you're considering a number of job possibilities you would want to learn as much as you can about the nature of the work involved, the commitment that's required to do the work and the skills necessary to be successful. You also need to be aware of and realistic about your own gifts, talents, interests and abilities in relationship to the work under consideration.

Next to developing your relationship with God, growing in self-awareness is probably the most important element of doing discernment well.

Discerning a life choice such as religious life requires the same blend of information gathering that selection of a job or a career would require. We gather information about the nature of religious life. This requires that we set aside any romantic notions, stereotypes or misinformation that we might have about what religious life is today. It also requires that we learn about the skills necessary to live a religiously vowed life in the Church and in community. Many of these skills are related to emotional and psychological maturity and our capacity for healthy, balanced and reciprocal relationships.

Having gathered accurate information about religious life-or marriage or the single life-we next turn to our knowledge of ourselves. We consider our own natural tendencies, gifts and aptitudes. If we don't know what these are or if our self-awareness is limited in other ways then we may need to pursue other avenues for personal growth and development before being able to continue with a life choice of this magnitude.

Bringing the consideration of our gathered knowledge of religious life to bear on our experience of our natural tendencies, gifts and aptitudes is where we most often see the distinction between desire and aptitude, and this is the point of discernment that requires rigorous honesty with ourselves and with others who are accompanying us in the discernment process.

We may very much want to pursue a particular course of action and yet we may know or discover that our natural gifts, tendencies and aptitudes point toward another course of action in which our best and most authentic selves could be realized. Interior freedom is the grace that keeps us open to this possibility.

When I was growing up I always wanted to play the piano. In 3rd grade I took lessons. That lasted for about 6 months. While I certainly had the desire to play, it turned out that I really didn't have the interest or the discipline that was required to practice and to be successful at it. And according to my piano teacher, I didn't have much aptitude for it either.

While learning to play the piano and considering religious life are two very different things, for the discerning heart the same process guides both of those choices.

In our next issue we'll consider the next discerning step after you've gathered information.

— Sister Mary Pellegrino

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