|
 , May 2003
I used
to enjoy and sometimes still do when it’s on, the television
movie detective, Colombo, portrayed by Peter Falk. Along with
his chronically wrinkled rain coat and his seemingly inept
information-gathering skills, I loved the way when leaving
a room, he would turn back around, remove the stub of cigar
from his mouth, cock his head to one side and apologetically
say, "Ah, excuse me, just one more thing."
While this method worked quite well for Colombo, it can be
a death knell for a discernment process. After gathering the
necessary information, considering the particular circumstances
of one’s life as well as the pros and cons of the options
at hand, and doing all this in a spirit of prayer and interior
freedom, turning back when nearing the end and saying, "Ah,
just one more thing," usually stalls the process and
prevents one from moving forward in any significant way.
The intent of any authentic discernment process is to move
one toward a course of action. It can be a small course of
action or a significant course of action, but action is the
key word here.
It is not uncommon that many of us get stuck at the part of
the process that requires a decision to be made. The reasons
for this vary. We may be afraid to take a next step or afraid
of what the consequences might be if we do. We may fear or
be uncomfortable with the course of action that is necessary
because we don’t know the outcome. Or even more subtle,
we may be afraid of the happiness that it could lead to. Our
hesitation to bring closure to a discernment process could
also be connected to limiting or debilitating images of God
and God’s will that we carry either consciously or unconsciously.
If we believe, even unconsciously, that God is a God who is
exacting and that God’s will is something completely
unrelated to our goodness and happiness, then we can be fearful
to make any decision based on trusting that God’s desires
for us are for our own deepest happiness.
One of the most common reasons that people get stuck at the
decision-making stage of a discernment process is because
when we make a choice for something we are automatically eliminating
other options. Sometimes we fear defining ourselves prematurely
or limiting our options unnecessarily before we consider "just
one more thing."
In the end we often find that we are even more limited and
less free because we have not moved in any particular or defining
direction. Our lives feel ambiguous and meaningless and we
may feel that we have no particular purpose. Making decisions
that enact our core values, truths and authentic selves provide
shape, structure, purpose and meaning in our lives.
Fearing the unknown is also a common reason that many people
have difficulty bringing a discernment process to closure.
If I move in a particular direction, I may not be able to
see what’s in store for me. But, you know, that’s
life — and that’s certainly our faith life. At any
given time we are given knowledge, awareness, insight and
clarity to take the next step . . . and only the
next step. What comes after that will unfold in its time.
The whole of our lives is not revealed to us and cannot be
revealed to us because we are creating our lives in partnership
with God in each and every moment. We are a significant part
of the ongoing creation by God of the world in which we live
and move and have our being. We participate in shaping our
lives and our world by the authentic and responsible stewardship
of our free will, our gifts and our energies.
At this stage of discernment as with the other stages, talking
about our hopes and fears and directions with a spiritual
director, with trusted friends or family members and with
others who know us well and will both support and challenge
us can help us to move from the block of inaction.
In the next issue of The More we’ll close this series
on discernment with some reflections about seeking confirmation
of the choices that we’ve made.
— Sister
Mary Pellegrino
[ Discernment ] [ Vocation Inquiry ] [ Candidacy ]
[ Novitiate ] [ Temporary Profession ] [ Glossary ] [ Look at the faces ]
[ Are you searching? ] [ Learn more! ] [ The More newsletter ]
©2008
Sisters of St Joseph - Baden
1020 State Street, Baden PA 15005
724.869.2151 | 412.761.3700 | Fax: 724.869.3336
Feedback, questions and comments are welcomed at csjprbah@stargate.net
|
